Funny Blonde Jokes

  • I Want to Buy That (Rating: 3.50) A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blond ...Read More
  • Blonde Horses Around (Rating: 4.00) There once was this blonde riding a horse. After a while it began to speed up. She was hanging on by the tail and cut her forehead open. After a l ...Read More
  • Only three doors (Rating: 2.50) An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain ...Read More
  • New Bimbo Prefix (Rating: 2.00) If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix 'bim' could be used to create new words that describe them: Bimbabble - noises coming from a ...Read More
  • Blonde paint job (Rating: 0.00) A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the fr ...Read More
  • Can you make all the blondes as smart as brunettes? (Rating: 2.00) A truck driver was driving down the highway one afternoon and heard a "pop." Thinking that perhaps he had blown a tire, he stopped and went ou ...Read More
  • Easter is... (Rating: 3.00) Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They were all standing in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter told them that before they c ...Read More
  • Winning the Lottery (Rating: 1.00) A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. She has lost her business and she's in dire financial straits. She's desperate so she decides to ask ...Read More
  • The Not-So-Dumb Blonde (Rating: 4.33) A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. Th ...Read More
  • Beauty Pageant (Rating: 3.67) ...Read More
  • What does UFO Mean? (Rating: 4.50) A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, ...Read More
  • Blonde Speeder - Blonde Cop (Rating: 5.00) A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde ...Read More
  • The Thermos (Rating: 4.00) A blond was shopping at K-Mart and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it over to the ...Read More
  • Fix The Dents (Rating: 3.50) A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repa ...Read More
  • Milk Bath (Rating: 5.00) A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the ...Read More
  • Blonde Painting the House (Rating: 4.00) This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show ...Read More
  • NASA Experiment (Rating: 2.50) A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in ...Read More
  • First Class Blonde (Rating: 3.00) A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section. The flight at ...Read More
  • Blonde Logic (Rating: 1.00) January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottl ...Read More
  • The Circle (Rating: 5.00) A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions f ...Read More
  • One Blonde To Another (Rating: 3.50) A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, t ...Read More
  • Ice Fishing (Rating: 2.00) A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice fish ...Read More
  • Blonde Cops (Rating: 4.00) A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license. The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the c ...Read More
  • Speeding Ticket (Rating: 3.00) A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over. The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please ...Read More
  • Passed Away (Rating: 3.00) Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" ...Read More
  • More Blonde Jokes (Rating: 2.00) Q: What do you call an eternity? A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? A: Toes Go ...Read More
  • Magic Mirror (Rating: 1.00) There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror. If you told a lie it would suck you in. One day a brunette walked into this bar. She ...Read More
  • Yell for Help (Rating: 1.00) Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luc ...Read More
  • Another Chance (Rating: 5.00) One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb. They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will sh ...Read More
  • Blonde at Football Game (Rating: 2.50) A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it ...Read More
  • Oh Crap! (Rating: 4.00) A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can ...Read More
  • One Eyed Dog (Rating: 1.50) A blonde and a brunette were walking down the street the brunette says "Look at that dog with one eye!!" So the blonde puts her hand over one eye. ...Read More
  • Pig (Rating: 4.00) Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?" A: The pig says, "I won he ...Read More
  • Pizza (Rating: 3.00) Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces." ...Read More
  • Blonde Accidents (Rating: 3.00) Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90 percent of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved. ...Read More
  • 2 Blondes and Porsche (Rating: 1.00) Well there was two blondes. One blonde pulled over to the side, and popped the the hood. The other blonde drove pass her and then turned around and as ...Read More
  • Glass Wall (Rating: 2.93) Why Did The Blonde Climb Over The Glass Wall? To See What Was On The Other Side ...Read More
  • One Handed Blonde (Rating: 3.14) How Do U Get A 1 Handed Blonde Out Of A Tree? Wave ...Read More
  • Your losing your load (Rating: 3.82) As a Minnesota trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker ...Read More
  • Blonde and Pizza (Rating: 3.15) A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. She responded, ''Six, please. I could never eat twelve p ...Read More
  • Switch! (Rating: 3.29) A blond was standing on a street corner when Bob stopped and said, ''Hey there, er, did you know you have a tampon hanging out of your mouth?'' '' ...Read More
  • Bimbo Joke (Rating: 2.65) How does a blonde turn the light on after having sex. She kicks the car door open. ...Read More
  • Baking Chocolate Chip Cookies (Rating: 3.36) How can you tell when a blonde has been baking chocolate chip cookies? There's M&M shells all over the floor. ...Read More
  • Blonde State of Mind (Rating: 3.45) A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals. She proudly said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!" Her friend ...Read More
  • Blondes at the Drive-in Theatre (Rating: 3.38) Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? They went to see "Closed for the ...Read More
  • Blond baby (Rating: 3.24) There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natel checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby concieve ...Read More
  • Blonde driver (Rating: 3.71) A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway. "Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?" "Driver's licence? What's that?..." ...Read More
  • Blonde traveller (Rating: 3.15) A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself ...Read More
  • Did you hear about the Blond... (Rating: 3.29) Did you hear about the blond who had a hysterectomy so she'd stop having grandchildren? Did you hear about the blond who was two hours late getting ...Read More
  • Parking in New York City (Rating: 3.70) A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borro ...Read More
  • Visit the sun (Rating: 3.67) A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all working for NASA, were trying to figure out where to go on the next trip. The brunette said, "We should g ...Read More
  • Turkey roll (Rating: 4.29) A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him." "Now, now," her mother comforted, " ...Read More