Funny Dirty Jokes

  • Playing with a Train (Rating: 4.00) A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train st ...Read More
  • Cornflakes (Rating: 2.50) Two twins returned home each with a letter from there teachers explaining they had been using extremely bad language and not to come to school. The ...Read More
  • Headaches (Rating: 3.40) Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and l ...Read More
  • The Eel (Rating: 3.00) Little Johnny was only 12-years-old. He had been hearing a lot about courting from the older boys, so he asked his mother what and how it was done. ...Read More
  • Some Golf Accident (Rating: 4.00) A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly to ...Read More
  • Pickle Slicer (Rating: 4.33) Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terri ...Read More
  • They Are In the Shower (Rating: 4.00) A salesman rang the doorbell, and little Johnny answered. The salesman asked if his father was home. Johnny said, "Yes." The salesman said, "W ...Read More
  • Don't Speak (Rating: 5.00) Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains, he has to smear Vaselin ...Read More
  • Construction Worker on 3rd Floor (Rating: 1.00) There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, ...Read More
  • Blowjob (Rating: 4.00) A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together. When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweet ...Read More
  • Don't Disgrace your Family (Rating: 4.00) There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it. Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let m ...Read More
  • Playing In the Closet (Rating: 4.00) Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week. Johnny said, "Mommy, guess what? Yesterday, I was playing in ...Read More
  • Neighborhood Report (Rating: 4.50) Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the ...Read More
  • Do You Know What I am Doing? (Rating: 4.75) A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at her, and all his professionalism went out the window. He immedia ...Read More
  • Will You Marry Me (Rating: 4.50) The President of Chase Manhattan Bank decides he should take a vacation/business trip. Since the president has heard how much fun Taipei is, he decide ...Read More
  • Build Like a Baby (Rating: 5.00) A man and a woman had been dating for about a year, and their relationship was getting serious. The man proposed marriage, and she accepted. However, ...Read More
  • Blind Man In a Restaurant (Rating: 5.00) A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, ...Read More
  • Electric Sex (Rating: 5.00) Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met. Sitting at a cafe, the little old man says, ...Read More
  • The Widow (Rating: 4.00) Peter decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Peter's station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught ...Read More
  • The Mailman's Last Day (Rating: 4.80) It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arr ...Read More
  • Dam Fish (Rating: 5.00) There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale." A preacher walked up and asked why h ...Read More
  • Train Departure (Rating: 4.67) A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son ...Read More
  • Fruit-Picking (Rating: 3.33) Three men were lost in the forest and later captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. T ...Read More
  • Washcloth (Rating: 3.00) There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. One day, the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked. He asked his mother what the ...Read More
  • Voodoo Dick (Rating: 4.67) There was a businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get he ...Read More
  • Sex With the Nun (Rating: 3.50) A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, ...Read More