Funny Religion Jokes

  • Jehovah's Witness (Rating: 2.75) A Jehovah's Witness canvasser knocks at the door. The man inside opens the door and asks him in. They sit down, and very cordially, the man offe ...Read More
  • The New Priest (Rating: 5.00) A new priest at his first mass was so nervous that he could hardly speak. After mass, he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor replie ...Read More
  • Healing (Rating: 3.00) An elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera and announces, "My friends, I'd like to ...Read More
  • Don't Fall Asleep in Church (Rating: 5.00) A man who went to church with his wife always fell asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this. One Sunday, she took a long ...Read More
  • Fallen (Rating: 4.00) There's an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one ...Read More
  • River of God (Rating: 3.00) A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it in ...Read More
  • Pastor v. Choir Director (Rating: 2.50) Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and choir director get into it, stand aside. One w ...Read More
  • Copies of Copies (Rating: 5.00) A new monk arrived at the monastery. He was assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He noticed, however, that they were cop ...Read More
  • The Flood (Rating: 5.00) One day there was this preacher and he was having his usual sermon when all of a sudden it started raining, really, really, hard!!!! After about 1 ful ...Read More
  • Noah (Rating: 3.00) The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are ...Read More
  • Father and Son Interpret the Bible (Rating: 4.00) A young boy had just got his driver's permit and inquired of his father, an evangelist, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him ...Read More
  • Loch Ness Monster and the Atheist (Rating: 3.00) An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness Monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and h ...Read More
  • Priests on Vacation (Rating: 2.00) Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them a ...Read More
  • The Rabbi's Confessional (Rating: 4.00) A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and ask ...Read More
  • The Painting Lesson (Rating: 4.00) A Scottish tradesman, a painter called Jack, was very interested in making a pound where he could. So he often would thin down his paint to make it go ...Read More
  • Clearing the Church (Rating: 4.00) The 2000 member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed ...Read More
  • Kids Interpret the Bible (Rating: 0.00) The following statements are said to have been written by actual children and, as far as we know, are genuine, authentic and not retouched or correct ...Read More
  • What Nationality was Jesus? (Rating: 5.00) THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH He went into his father's business He lived at home until he was 33 He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his ...Read More
  • Bible Verses (Rating: 0.00) A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someon ...Read More
  • Church Bulletin Bloopers (Rating: 0.00) This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers: * Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High". * Don't let worry ki ...Read More
  • Preacher's Ass (Donkey) (Rating: 5.00) A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in th ...Read More
  • Never Fall Asleep In Church (Rating: 0.00) One day Mr. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at his church. "Reverend," he said, "I have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during you ...Read More
  • Getting in an accident (Rating: 4.50) A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, b ...Read More
  • Last request (Rating: 3.78) Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" ...Read More
  • An Act of God? (Rating: 4.30) A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real esta ...Read More
  • Priest and Golf (Rating: 3.00) One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to go to work. ...Read More
  • Do you want to go to heaven? (Rating: 3.36) Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The ...Read More
  • Minister for drinks (Rating: 3.00) A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression, he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it i ...Read More