Funny Redneck Jokes

  • Redneck Driving Application (Rating: 4.25) Plez compleet this paper, best ya can. Last name: ________________ First name: [_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue [_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo [_] B ...Read More
  • Father and Son (Rating: 4.00) One morning a boy got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of chicken wire. His father said, 'Son, where are you going?' The son repl ...Read More
  • Down South Bumper Stickers (Rating: 4.50) => The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. => I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. => Some people are ...Read More
  • Dat Ain't Bubba (Rating: 4.00) Bubba got drunk and died in a fire in his trailer. He was so badly burned that the morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they called his two ...Read More
  • A Rock Solid Defense (Rating: 3.00) A redneck was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. ...Read More
  • Redneck and a Trailer (Rating: 4.00) Q: What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer! ...Read More
  • New Rooster (Rating: 3.50) An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years a ...Read More
  • My Pa Won't Like It (Rating: 0.00) A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Billy Bob, ...Read More
  • Martha Stewart's Rules for Rednecks (Rating: 5.00) GENERAL 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. It's considered tacky to ...Read More
  • Last Ditch Effort (Rating: 4.00) Two football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Sugar ...Read More
  • Iowa Taxidermist in Alabama (Rating: 0.00) This guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around ...Read More
  • In Hot Pursuit (Rating: 0.00) Two Alabama State Trooper Patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east towards Georgia on I-90. When the suspect crossed the Georgia l ...Read More
  • I Love You (Rating: 0.00) English..... I Love You Spanish..... Te Amo French...... Je T'aime German...... Ich Liebe Dich Japanese.... Ai Shite Imasu Italian..... Ti Amo ...Read More
  • Getting The Story Straight (Rating: 4.00) When a man in Macon, Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands. A repor ...Read More
  • Eucalyptus Road (Rating: 0.00) Sue Ellen passed away so Billy Bob called 911. The operator promised to send someone out immediately and asked him where he lived. "Right at the e ...Read More
  • It's the way you say it (Rating: 0.00) A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He ...Read More
  • Redneck Logic (Rating: 4.00) Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first went in to see the cou ...Read More
  • Redneck Jedi (Rating: 0.00) You know you're a redneck jedi when.. You hear "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..." You ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y' ...Read More
  • Expensive Fishing Trip (Rating: 0.00) Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin ...Read More
  • Redneck Morals (Rating: 0.00) The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake near a tiny hamlet. The young wife, stunningly built, decides to give the local town f ...Read More
  • Redneck At The Bar (Rating: 1.00) A bartender was washing glasses one afternoon when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the b ...Read More
  • Southern Comments (Rating: 0.00) Exclamations: "Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!" "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit." Threats: "I'll slap you so hard, y ...Read More
  • Naming the Twins (Rating: 5.00) A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Regaining consciousness, he ...Read More
  • You Must Be A Redneck If (Rating: 0.00) * You recycle your own toilet paper * Your mom has to shave more times a month than your dad * You see a bill board that says "Don't do crack" a ...Read More
  • Elevator Magic (Rating: 5.00) A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, ...Read More
  • From A Mother With Love (Rating: 0.00) Dear Child, I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in ...Read More
  • 911 (Rating: 4.50) Just before thanksgiving Jim and Eddie are out hunting for turkeys when Jim keel's over and collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes a ...Read More
  • Letter from Home (Rating: 3.00) A letter from an Arkansas Mother to her Son... Dear Son: Your Paw has a job. It's the first one he had in forty-eight years since we have been m ...Read More
  • Red Neck on the Jury (Rating: 4.00) A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a red neck was on the jury and figured he wou ...Read More
  • Slanted News (Rating: 4.00) Two boys are playing football in the Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the ne ...Read More
  • A Cowboy and His Wife (Rating: 3.00) A cowboy and his wife come up to a hotel manager and the cowboy says "Me and my wife here got married and we'd like a room. The manager then says "Wou ...Read More
  • Redneck Romance (Rating: 4.00) One day the Arkansas county sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his boots. The sheriff says "Billy-Bob, what the hell ...Read More
  • That Damn Credit Plan (Rating: 4.00) Gentlemen: I just received your long superheated letter in regard to the bill I owe you. You said you thought it could have been paid a long time a ...Read More
  • The Check Up (Rating: 1.00) An old man, who is hard of hearing, goes with his wife to the doctor for his annual check up. The doctor tells him that he needs a urine sample, a ...Read More
  • Your Starship Captain Might Be a Redneck If . . . (Rating: 2.00) 1. Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month. 2. He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles. 3. You have a shuttle c ...Read More
  • 7 Word Obituary (Rating: 5.00) A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husban ...Read More
  • Technology for Country Folk... (Rating: 5.00) Technology for Country Folk... 1. LOG ON: Makin a wood stove hotter. 2. LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood. 3. MONITOR: Keepin an eye on t ...Read More
  • The Redneck Animal Park (Rating: 3.00) A small redneck Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very "in the mood", and di ...Read More
  • Rednecks Visit a Whorehouse (Rating: 3.00) There was 3 rednecks in New York City. One day while sight seeing they ran upon a whorehouse. Excited, they entered the whorehouse like kids entering ...Read More
  • Redneck Medical Terms (Rating: 5.00) Benign - What you be, after you be eight. Artery - The study of paintings Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria Barium - what doctors do when patients ...Read More
  • 12 Days of Red-Neck Christmas (Rating: 5.00) Sung to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas" 12 pack of Bud 11 rasslin tickets 10 a Copenhagen 9 years probation 8 table dancers 7 pack of R ...Read More
  • Redneck Family Tree (Rating: 4.00) Many, many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be, This widow had a daughter Who had hair of re ...Read More
  • First Day at School (Rating: 0.00) It was the first day of 3rd grade, and a new school for Johnny. As a test, the teacher went around the room and asked each of the students to count to ...Read More
  • Hickphonics (Rating: 5.00) The Atlanta School Board, sensing that Oakland cashed in by labeling African American slang as the language "Ebonics," has decided to pursue some of t ...Read More
  • How To Speak Southern (Rating: 2.00) How To Speak Southern Hah Tu Spek Suthun) ======================= BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard ...Read More
  • Redneck Birth Control (Rating: 4.00) After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. The husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that h ...Read More
  • Red Neck Driver (Rating: 4.00) REDNECK DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION Last name: ________________ (Check appropriate box) First name: [_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue [_] Bill ...Read More
  • You Might Be From the South (Rating: 4.00) You Might be from the South if: The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter ...Read More
  • Lecture on Supernatural (Rating: 5.00) A professor at W.Virginia University is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe i ...Read More
  • Redneck Christmas (Rating: 4.33) 'Twas the Night After Christmas 'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The t ...Read More
  • Cowboy with big boots (Rating: 3.86) A lady goes into a bar in Texas and sees a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He has the biggest boots she'd ever seen. The woman asks the co ...Read More
  • Catch a drunk driver (Rating: 2.80) Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Ear ...Read More
  • Redneck 911 (Rating: 3.95) A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in hi ...Read More
  • Daddy (Rating: 3.67) Two fellows grew up in the mountains, and when they were grown, one of them said he was going up North to seek his fortune. The other one said he'd ...Read More
  • Ten Dollars is Ten Dollars (Rating: 4.40) Sue and Bob, a pair of tightwads, lived in the midwest, and had been married years. Bob had always wanted to go flying. The desire deepened each tim ...Read More
  • NASCAR Samaritans (Rating: 3.73) There were three NASCAR fans on their way to a race, when they see an accident on the side of the road so they pull over! They go to help the victim, ...Read More
  • Redneck Track & Field (Rating: 3.79) You might be a redneck if you think ?wind sprints? means running from a fart. ...Read More
  • Redneck Letter (Rating: 4.06) I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Dad read in the newspaper that most ac ...Read More