Funny Police Jokes

  • Jay Walker (Rating: 2.67) A policeman spotted a jay walker and decided to challenge him, 'Why are you trying to cross here when there's a zebra crossing only 20 metres away?' ...Read More
  • Not too smart (Rating: 3.50) A Police officer approached a motorist stopped in the middle of the road before the river overpass holding up traffic. The officer noticed the dri ...Read More
  • Prison life versus a full-time job (Rating: 3.58) In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle. In prison you get thre ...Read More
  • Breaking into a house (Rating: 4.17) A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court ...Read More
  • A test for being drunk (Rating: 3.25) A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blo ...Read More
  • A prisoner with skills (Rating: 3.55) Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that de ...Read More
  • Try to catch the rabbit (Rating: 4.27) The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President ...Read More
  • Rookie is on the job (Rating: 3.83) A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who w ...Read More
  • The reason for running (Rating: 4.39) A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he c ...Read More
  • Should have glasses (Rating: 3.29) A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I hav ...Read More
  • Dealing with a juggler (Rating: 4.38) Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer. "I juggle them ...Read More
  • Lost far from a home (Rating: 3.70) A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman s ...Read More
  • Working in the garden (Rating: 3.86) A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some lettuce in the backyard. But I will need to dig up the sod to ma ...Read More
  • Getting a new deputy (Rating: 4.10) The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," ...Read More
  • Drunk Driver (Rating: 2.33) One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the b ...Read More
  • Catching the shoplifter (Rating: 2.40) A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any ...Read More
  • Wife helps out the cop (Rating: 3.20) A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least ...Read More
  • New person in prison (Rating: 2.59) A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inqu ...Read More
  • Nine Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation (Rating: 3.33) 9. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren. 8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar. 7 ...Read More
  • Dealing with criminals (Rating: 1.00) A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this ...Read More
  • Looking into their eyes (Rating: 3.56) A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice you ...Read More
  • Swerve to avoid a box (Rating: 1.00) Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reck ...Read More
  • The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over (Rating: 3.40) The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over. 20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 19. Sorry officer, I didn't ...Read More
  • Lost it (Rating: 3.59) A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?" ...Read More
  • A cop pulls Jenna Bush over for speeding ... (Rating: 3.00) A cop pulls Jenna Bush over for speeding and he notices her eyes are red. He says, "Gee, your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?" Jenna re ...Read More
  • Police Departments (Rating: 3.00) The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President ...Read More
  • A scam we would all love to see (Rating: 3.25) A man went to the police to report a scam. "What happens is when you stop for a red light, a young nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing y ...Read More