The Centipede
Animal Joke | Rating:
A man goes into a pet shop and asks the owner if he could buy a pet that can do everything.
The shop owner says that he's got a centipede that can do everything.
The man says, "A centipede?
I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but OK... I'll try a centipede."
He goes home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."
Half an hour later, he walks into the kitchen and it's spotless!
All the dishes have been washed, dried, and put away, the counter-tops are cleaned and the floor is waxed.
The man is absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, "Clean the living room."
Half an hour later, the living look is perfect.
The carpet has been vacuumed, plants watered and the furniture has been cleaned and dusted.
The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
This really is a pet that can do everything!"
So he says to the centipede, "Get your shoes on and run down to the corner shop and get me a newspaper."
The centipede walks out the door.
Ten minutes later, no centipede.
Twenty minutes later, no centipede.
Thirty minutes later... no centipede.
By this point the man is wondering what's going on.
The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes.
An hour later - still no centipede!
The man is trying to think what could have happened.
Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car?
Bit worried, he goes to the front door, opens it ... and there's the centipede sitting right outside.
The man says, "Hey - I sent you to the corner shop an hour ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter!?"
The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"
The shop owner says that he's got a centipede that can do everything.
The man says, "A centipede?
I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but OK... I'll try a centipede."
He goes home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."
Half an hour later, he walks into the kitchen and it's spotless!
All the dishes have been washed, dried, and put away, the counter-tops are cleaned and the floor is waxed.
The man is absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, "Clean the living room."
Half an hour later, the living look is perfect.
The carpet has been vacuumed, plants watered and the furniture has been cleaned and dusted.
The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
This really is a pet that can do everything!"
So he says to the centipede, "Get your shoes on and run down to the corner shop and get me a newspaper."
The centipede walks out the door.
Ten minutes later, no centipede.
Twenty minutes later, no centipede.
Thirty minutes later... no centipede.
By this point the man is wondering what's going on.
The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes.
An hour later - still no centipede!
The man is trying to think what could have happened.
Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car?
Bit worried, he goes to the front door, opens it ... and there's the centipede sitting right outside.
The man says, "Hey - I sent you to the corner shop an hour ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter!?"
The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"